Does He Love Me? How to Find True Love

People reach out to psychics for insight into all matters of life.  But by far, the most common question clients ask is: “Does he/she love me?”

It’s true.  All people really care about is finding love, and then keeping it. Love, and everything about that subject, is the number one topic most people want to focus on. It’s tough, because the answer for each individual is as unique as their fingerprint. Despite this uniqueness, everyone wants to hear the exact same answer to the question: “Yes, he loves you.”

Unfortunately, that is not always the case.  Sometimes the reality is they don’t love you. And even when the other person does feel love, often the person asking the question doesn’t understand how to receive love. It’s difficult to comprehend, but the reason so many people are confused about Cupid’s energy is quite simple. It makes perfect sense when we unravel the misconceptions about Love – as it applies to romance and couples.

I don’t want to say that our western culture is deficient (uh-oh I just did), but it is. Especially regarding our understanding of Love. We westerners are quite lame in this department. Our relationships suffer on many levels because of this deficiency. Our family structure is off balance and often dysfunctional.  Marriages fall apart more than they stay together. Parents and children are often in therapy or broken apart because of divorce. We don’t take care of our seniors, often leaving them abandoned in retirement homes only to die alone. And in the west, we abuse our children more than any other culture on the planet. These are the facts based on reliable studies and statistics.

The bottom line is, we westerners don’t Do Love very well. Look at our language for clues.

Consider the single word ‘Love’ in comparison to all the different kinds of love that exist! Our language reflects our ignorance and lack of understanding of the general subject relative to the action of loving. There are so many different expressions of love. There is romantic love, love for a parent, love for a sibling, love for a pet, love for your boss or neighbor. It goes on and on. And yet, we only have one word to describe the thousands of ways we can love? That’s not even logical.  Clearly our western culture has a lot to learn about the matters of the heart – Love, which is the foundation of our happiness and emotional well-being.

LOVE is Literally the Root of All Happiness!

And yet we remain so ignorant in our understanding of what love truly is!

The Sami are indigenous people from the far north of Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia. Traditionally, they were fishermen, trappers and reindeer herders. Living in such a harsh, cold climate, the Sami have at least 180 words for snow and ice. You heard it right! 180 different words to describe all the varieties of snow. Imagine studying snow so much that your culture created so many definitions. The Sami know snow really well! I wish we had that same knowledge and vocabulary to describe Love. But we only have one word for that! Yet it is so unique, and there are so many different ways to experience and express love. We need a better and broader language to express ourselves. But perhaps our lack of words is directly related to our lack of study and understanding of this essential and fundamental human expression.

Everyone Has Their Own Definition of Love.  How We Love is Unique and Personal.

It’s that simple. Each individual defines love differently. Moreover, each person has unique needs on how to receive and express love. It all depends on what you witnessed growing up with your family. As a child, watching your parents express love creates an imprint that becomes part of your belief system. How you define love is as unique as your fingerprint.  How your family expressed love to you while you were growing up will also affect your definition of Love. Therefore, when you define what love is, it will be a culmination of millions of moments that you experienced the “expression of affection” (aka Love), throughout your life. And since there is only one You, the experience of Love, and your definition of it, will be yours alone.

Most people believe that finding love will result in finding  happiness.  But happiness never comes from the outside.  And being truly happy in life has nothing to do with your relationships. Finding your soul mate or perfect partner will not make you happy. There is no one in the universe who will express their love to you exactly the way you want to receive it.

Happiness is Only Connected to Love When There is Healthy and Abundant  Self-Love.

Hypothetically, let’s assume the other individual does feel love towards the person asking “Does he/she love me?” Even then, there is only one accurate response to the question: “He/she loves you according to his/her version of what Love looks like to them.” Yes, he may love you, but does the way he expresses love match how you want to receive love? Those two things are often polar opposites.

The real question is not “Does he/she love me?”  Rather, a more realistic approach might be: “Am I in alignment to receive another version of love?”  Unfortunately, too many people blame their partner for not loving them properly when their partner is just acting out what they learned about love from childhood.  Then, there are the single people who believe that if they find their true love, then they will find happiness. Again, happiness and love are only connected when there is an abundance of self-love. Finding a relationship will never make you happy. Your happiness is directly connected to your internal well-being and self-esteem.

Ultimately, people are not unhappy in relationships  because of how they are “feeling” about love. Often, people are unhappy because their partner does not “behave” in a way that represents or mimics their own experience, ergo their definition of what Love is supposed to be.   Instead of blaming a partner for not loving you enough (or correctly), or holding  your single status responsible for the feeling of inadequacy, look within to determine your level of self-love, because that is directly connected to your level of happiness.

And here’s the ultimate key to happiness and self-love. This has to do with your relationship to Spirit. What is your spiritual practice? How do you connect to God, Spirit, the Universe, Source….?

Whatever word you want to use to express that which cannot be named, is the answer and key to your divine truth.  This is your Higher Self, which is connected to Spirit, and the foundation of all Love, eternally.

Consider developing your spiritual practice first, and then, once you have that down, you will automatically cultivate self-love. Then, you are ready to love others selflessly, and to receive love openly, and authentically.