How to survive when other’s want to zap the energy from you? Take charge of your life!
Tough Love Tools to Escape Control Vampires…
No more excuses! No more justifications! Live according to your own priorities, not the priorities of others.
No more excuses given to others for why you did not satisfy an external demand they imposed. You agreed to follow out of pressure, not from free will. And now you regret your decision! You allowed someone’s will to control you own. And now you are frustrated with yourself, feeling inadequate and overwhelmed, when all along you just agreed to someone else judge you on how to run your life, as if they knew better?
No more justifications from you to others regarding the choices you’ve made in your life. Stop allowing critical and judgmental outsiders to pry and scrutinize your tasks, ways and means as a form of control while trying to manipulate you into thinking you should live your life according to their standards….The answer is No! Live your life free from anyone who tries to manipulate or organize your life for they are Control Vampires.
Stressful obligations from others regarding duties or tasks they impose upon you when you are not in full agreement just backfires. When those around you spill shame or blame onto your lap, making demands of you that don’t feel right, often criticizing (when they offer advice on how to run your life) your methods and choices when you do not listen or follow their advice actually breeds cancer cells in your healthy body. If your schedule is too busy, and you don’t have time, just say No!
Follow your own recommendations on how to accomplish your goals or move through your day, regardless of the circumstances. You are the only one who knows exactly the best path to follow to accomplish your mission.
Know who is really in charge. If you take other’s well meaning but misdirected advice because of either peer pressure or power struggles, then you compromise your own abilities to be the director of Your Life. Don’t forget that you are the best judge, if you operate from the values of your Higher Self.
Be your own best friend, you never know when you are going to lose your support system, so you’d better be your own best backup. When your best friend or partner drops you after an argument, or falls in love with another, you’d better be there to pick up the pieces of your own heart. If the family reunion you’ve avoided for so long proves to be even more uncomfortable and ridiculous than you ever imagined, it’s imperative that you have enough self-respect and love to rise above the shambles relatives create and leave the rest behind as you soar into the comfort and real vision of your Higher Self. That way, you cast no blame; you just rise above as you embrace your Authentic Self– the true seer that oozes truth serum.
Keep your nest clean, safe and sound. Your environment really does matter, more than you can imagine. Where you live and where you lay your head at night contributes enormously to your internal well-being. If you do not feel safe and sound in your nest, even for esthetic or light related reasons, then you cannot possibly expect and certainly not demand from yourself, a high level of productivity or even creative flow. Your house must be your beacon – a home you ‘agree’ with in order for you to achieve your highest goals. If it’s not providing you comfort and repose, for goodness sakes move! Start looking for another house today!
Be aware; forgive yourself when you think you don’t measure up to Buddha standards. Generosity, love, loyalty, good nature, positive attitude, and a giving spirit (yes, it’s Generosity knocking again) are all qualities we aspire to achieve, and when we can be such 24/7 we are certainly enlightened beings. The brutal facts however reveal that we are not enlightened… yet. At best, most of us are looking at a few hours of ‘good nature’ per day. Work on that, but at the same time forgive yourself for not being the Buddha yet, as your life is still in progress…
Usually we bestow good deeds when we have the time, convenience, and positive attitude to be in the position of Giving. But these conditions are easy circumstances and therefore loaded with false self-worth. A good deed given when we are in a positive space is followed by inflated self-praise and pride: “What a good person I am, how generous I was, handing out that compliment, that extra tip, that favor to a friend in need.”
Favors bestowed in comfort don’t register on the gratitude scale; these are not the times to pat oneself on the back. Favors and good deeds don’t gain the same score when done in convenience, when we have nothing else to do. No, the true measure of a good deed is when a friend, or family member needs you, precisely when you are NOT available, when the favor is asked when it is a major distraction to your life/daily plan. What you do then, and how do you react when you are inconvenienced are the true measures of your current level of generosity. Are you authentically ‘giving’ 100% in this moment? If the answer is No, then you have work to do.
Blessings and light, as we take one day at a time, loving ourselves, and the life we create along the way…